After all

Nothing better than sitting at the living room with the pajamas and the wind blowing from the spinning fan. The peace and tranquility that is so familiar to me, the quiet that will never be awkward to me. I have to accept the fact that I'm a mummy&daddygurl. 

I skipped the orientation and I'm home.

I moved into the rented house in Sg Long two days ago. But being totally alone, the strange feelings overwhelmed me and made me extremely emotionally unstable. I realized that what fears me more isn't the feeling of loneliness but the strange feelings when you're alone at a place that you've never been before, without anyone that you know with you. I mean, totally independent. And what makes me rage it's for myself, for not having the courage to step out of my room since my mum left me, for to have milk for all the 3 meals as dare not go out and explore myself, and for being super restless and lost when got to know that non of my friends or people that I know were going for the orientation. I got very stressed up, lost and I broke down. I cried and I fell asleep. Sometimes, I really hate the fact that I sorta need to depend, rely on people. I was once a very very introverted person, will naturally remain very quiet when I'm exposed to people that I do not know, or when I'm at places that is new to me. But these years I'm making my best effort to get out of that cage and try to react boldly in all kind of situations. But sometimes I so bad as if I've not grown up.

Anyhow, I wanna dearly thank my mum for being my heroin . She arranged everything for me, and thoroughly did everything that one can do, or I would say more than that. The night before I gotta move to Sg Long I was super tired as I just got back from PJ. I kept my things but didnt finish the work completely. I was super exhausted and sister asked me to go to bed and continue my work the next day as I was only leaving at afternoon. The next morning, when I came down, I was literally surprised to see the boxes with everything nicely arranged. Oven, washed tables and chairs, tupperwares with milo, tea packs all neatly arranges, milk, confleks, everything. I was so touched that my tears came to eyes immediately. I was wondering how late did she stay up to prepare me all that despite she had to got up early for work. Thanks mom. I got your steadfast love. I am more than blessed. That's nothing I can complain more about my life, I don't wanna do that. :')

By the way, seriously needa learn how to depend in no one but yourself Sara. Remember after all, the only 3 people that will always be with you are 'Me', 'Myself' and 'I'.

Continuously bath yourself with the inner unconditional love and you'll not feel lonely though you're alone, remember.